Mommy, Daddy, I need to tell you something.
I’ve worked really hard to be good all year. I picked up my toys, I was nice to my little sister. I even behaved that one day in school when we had a substitute teacher, and little Jimmy Borison tried to get everybody to pretend they had different names and make fart noises in class all day. I didn’t make one. Not even a little squeeker. I went to bed when I was supposed to, and I brushed my teeth and even washed behind my ears, so I want to ask for just one thing for Christmas. One gift that I’ll really love, and I promise I’ll be good all of next year too!
I want gutter guards for Christmas.
Look, I know, Gutter Guards are a big deal, and you may not think I’m old enough. But I think I’ve proven I deserve them. Maybe you think I need to wait a while, and prove that I can clean the gutters on my own instead of getting gutter guards. Maybe you think I need to still be climbing up on the ladder every few months, hauling up a bucket and wearing heavy gloves, and digging out all the nasty sticks and leaves, and getting bugs crawling up my arm. I know you think it builds “character,” but honestly, I think I’ve got enough stinking character! Grandma always calls me “Such a little character” whenever I tell her a story about what happened at school, so I think that proves it!
I’ve been climbing up on that ladder to clean the gutters, and honestly, I don’t like it! The ladder gets all shaky, and I’m trying to carry stuff up there. I’m trying to balance at the top of the ladder and reaching into the gutters to clean them out, but then I have to climb back down and move the ladder and climb back up, because I can only reach so far! Really, it stinks! Do you know how many people fall off of ladders every year? Do you really want me to fall? And there’s so much STUFF in those gutters! Like, did you know I found a squirrel in there once? I swear! It was sleeping in the gutter and eating the seeds and junk, and when I started cleaning out the gutters it woke up and started running around and it scared me! I don’t want to have to deal with that! I could have gotten RABIES!
And let’s face it, getting gutter guards is going to make all of us a little safer. Clogged gutters can be a serious risk to our house, as they overflow and cause leaks, leading to water damage on our roof or in our walls. Even if I climb up and clean out the gutters twice a year, every spring and fall, there’s always the chance of some major clog happening in between those times that could cause some serious risk to our home! Gutter guards would mean that we can trust our gutters to be kept in good order throughout the year with minimal maintenance.
And I should be clear here. I’m not trying to ask for too much, but it’s important that we don’t cheap out on this gift. It’s important to me that we get good gutter guards that will last us for years to come. Cheap snap on guards you can order from a late night tv commercial just aren’t going to cut it. They’re too susceptible to being chewed up by that squirrel I ran into, or warping in fluctuating temperatures. And that’s assuming they fit our gutters correctly and are installed the right way! It’s all too easy for cheap gutter guards to come loose or break, leaving us even worse off, because now the gutter guards aren’t keeping our gutters clean, but they WILL be in the way when I have to go up and clean them anyways!
So here’s what I’d love for Christmas, Mom and Dad. Call the Cincy Gutter Boys today, and have them come out to install one of the three different models of gutter guards they offer. Now, of course I’d be thrilled with any of the gutter guards they offer, but if you REALLY want to make my Christmas, I’d love it if you’d buy the AWA Standard Gutter Guards they offer. The extruded Aluminum frame means these guards aren’t going to get jostled loose and they’ll hold up to any of those pesky squirrels looking for a place to build a nest. The surgical grade 316L stainless steel mesh means that even those annoying little pine needles and bugs won’t get through, keeping our gutters flowing year round!
So please, Mom and Dad, give me what I really want. Get me gutter guards from the Cincy Gutter Boys this Christmas!